And They All Lived
by lmhsfan
Summary: Sir Edward has had his fair maiden for the better part of two decades. Their first marriage may or may not have been officiated by Elvis, but this time they're doing it right. Alice is only slightly jealous. After all, she is still very young:a fact the men she loves seem to love to exploit. And though Edward set out to save his family, he is not the true hero of this story. Sequel
1. Sort Of

**Eighteen years later...  
**

**This is a future-take type sequel of Slumbering Swan. It is absolutely essential that you read that first, else the contents herein will make very little sense to you. This includes all of the Alice extras (and/or Becoming Alice). **

**We're going to see maybe 4-5 chapters (I think), the first two of which are done and ready to go. Working on 3 the second I post this.  
**

**I do not own Twilight, but I _am _working on some original fiction. You'll probably never read it. *sigh*  
**

* * *

Clicking heels, flashing cameras, and the gentle hum of industry gossip drowned out the sound of impact as Alice Cullen slapped Michael Newton in the face.

"That's for being moronic enough to ask such a stupid question. And this" – she stomped on his toes – "is for what you were planning to do when I said no."

On one foot he replied, "Come on, babe, it's the perfect compromise. I get a little fresh meat, you get to participate. Nobody cheats. Everybody wins." It wasn't Alice's fault she couldn't find a mature lover with _actual_ maturity. Not really. It's just that all of those men were responsibly married or dating women their own age.

Or gay, but that didn't help her much either.

"'Have a threesome willingly or I'll get you too wasted to remember it' is not a compromise, Mike."

"What? I-"

"Do you remember our first _vacation_ to Mexico? I didn't want to leave work for a week, so we _compromised_ by having one wild night. You poured enough vodka down my throat to give me alcohol poisoning. I woke up in Cancun with a monster hangover and serious plans to murder you. But for some reason I believed all your 'I just wanted you to relax, baby' bullshit. And now, three months later, you want a three-way with my new assistant."

"A little fun never hurt anyone," said Mike. "And she's is in it for you just as much as for me. In fact, if it makes you any more comfortable, I can just be there to watch, ya know, to start. You can tag me in when you're ready."

"Tag… You… In?" Alice's mind went blank for a full three seconds, struggling to understand what she had ever seen in this man.

With Alice lost on a futile errand, Mike used her silence to further argue his case. "It would be so hot to see you together. Making out on the bed…. Playing with some toys…. She's got this massive hot tub-"

"How would you know about her hot tub?" Alice didn't wait to hear Mike's answer; the brief flicker of panic told her all she needed to know.

One knee to the groin and a quick wrinkle check later, Alice was back at her chair, collecting her things and bidding farewell to her neighbors.

"Darling, don't leave now. You'll miss the best part." Alice's friend Tyler greatly enjoyed male fashions, most specifically the latest in undergarments. Normally Alice would be eager to preview the merchandise, as it were, but with no professional reasons to stay, she just wanted to go home and rest. Things were going to be hectic for a while.

oOoOo

"I'm sorry, Edward, I just can't pull away from work right now." Alice's brother had called to confirm their plans for the weekend, but flying out to Forks didn't seem like the smartest move. "I've lost one of my biggest accounts and winning over their competition is difficult without an assistant."

"Please, princess. We need you! Bella and I will only ever have one sixteen year anniversary, whereas you will likely get screwed over by the lecherous old men you insist on dating over and over for all eternity."

"If this is your way of buttering me up, you suck at it. Big time."

"I'm sorry, Al, but you know it's true. I never even met this last guy and I knew he was a creep. They're all creeps. Any guy in his late thirties who'd date a barely legal-"

"Edward, I'm twenty-three."

"Still a baby."

"I can legally drink and go to clubs."

"Maybe that's your problem. Instead of going out and looking for a normal guy your own age, you're hooking up with middle-aged Peter Pans at night clubs."

Alice let the accusation hang for a time. He was wrong. She knew he was wrong. _He _knew he was wrong. But was he really too far off? She had met Mike at work, a perfectly acceptable and "normal" place to meet someone. Riley had been a member of her gym. She'd caught him ogling her in the mirror one day while she was doing her stretches. He'd been appropriately embarrassed, and what woman didn't want to feel desired? Then of course there was James, but no one liked to talk about him.

Yet, while the circumstances may not have been exactly what Edward described, the theme was essentially the same: Older men who stayed young by keeping her as arm candy.

"Alice, I'm sorry," said Edward after a minute. "I didn't-"

"It's okay."

"No, it's not. It's just that, to me, you'll always be my little princess. Glitter and tutus. I've seen you broken and hurt and… and…."

"Ewar…"

"Don't. Please. I just… I want you to be safe and happy." Edward paused to compose himself. "Did I mention I want you to be safe?"

Alice giggled and wiped a tear. "Once or twice."

"Once a knight…" Edward started.

"Always a knight," Alice finished. "Okay, I'll be there, you manipulative bastard, but only for Friday and Saturday. Sunday, you're on your own."

"We'll see."

Apprehensive, Alice asked what he meant.

"We'll see," he repeated. "Just don't make any plans you really can't get out of. You'll only be disappointed."

"Edward Anthony! You-" But he had already hung up.

oOoOo

It took Alice approximately fifteen seconds to remember why she'd avoided coming home the past three years. She had but to glance out the dusty porthole and take in her family—her loving yet wholly incomplete family.

Edward, as always, was the first to reach her when she got off the plane. "Princess!" he called and immediately set to spinning with her in his arms.

"I missed you so bad," she said as her legs swung through the air. When it was safe, the rest of the family approached.

"Ali-bug!" Emmett shouted and lifted her like an infant. He scrutinized her frame for a moment then said, "You're gettin' heavy, kid. Maybe you're still growing? Keep it up and you'll be able to see over the steering wheel soon!" His wife came up beside them and elbowed Emmett's gut, forcing him to drop Alice with a dramatic. "Oof!"

"Alice is tiny as ever," she said. "It's your flabby old man arms that have changed. My grizzly's just a big teddy bear now." Rosalie sighed and turned away from her husband. Within seconds, Emmett had thrown her over his shoulder and started beating his chest like a gorilla.

"Say hello and goodbye to your niece, Rosalie. You won't be seeing her for a few hours." He turned his back to Alice so that Rosalie could face her, but instead found himself face to face with his mother.

"Put. Her. Down."

Emmett made quick work of setting his wife upright and even spent a moment fussing over her hair, as though to undo his manhandling.

"Thanks, Esme," Rosalie said, swatting Emmett's hands away; they were doing more harm than good.

"Alice is home for the first time in over a year; you would do well to save playtime until after dinner at least." Esme was sure to make eye contact with each of them as she said this.

"Sorry, Mom," Emmett and Rosalie said together.

"Come on, Mom," said Alice. "Some things you just can't change."

Esme's face drooped for a split-second, but she recovered her tight smile quickly and hugged her daughter close.

"I didn't… I just meant Em and Rose, Mom. Not…"

Esme pulled away. "I know, sweetie. It's good to have you home. I love what you've done with your hair." She started smoothing hairs on Alice's head as an obvious means of distraction.

Alice shrugged. "Pixie-cut. Seemed fitting."

Esme spent a good five minutes inspecting Alice's face, touching her hair, and hugging her repeatedly before someone loudly cleared his throat. It was Edward, his wife Bella affixed firmly to his side.

"It's great to-" Edward started to speak, but Alice let out a high-pitched squeal and launched herself through the air and on top of Bella. Literally. The impact knocked the usually unstable Bella onto her back with Alice falling right along with her.

The pair giggled uncontrollably as they lay there, unable to stop long enough to stand. Their laughter doubled when Edward squatted down next to them and started asking Bella questions like, "Do you know what day it is?" while feeling for lumps on her head.

"Seriously, Edward?" Bella asked between fits. "I thought we were over this. It's been eighteen years."

"Edward get over something?" said Emmett from the sidelines. "Maybe she did hit her head."

"As long as you have a brain, I'll be here to protect it." Edward helped his wife and sister up from the asphalt and immediately started conducting tests. Bella, quite used to living with an overprotective neurologist, dutifully followed his finger from side to side without so much as an eye roll. Rosalie wasn't as tolerant.

"I'd say she's been brainless since the day she said, 'I do.'"

"Her MRI's would suggest otherwise," said Edward seriously. "Seems okay, but any pain or dizziness…"

"And I'll report it immediately to my doctor," she finished and kissed him. "Please try not to worry so much."

Edward huffed and scrubbed at his face. "No sense of self-preservation."

"If I wasn't such a mess, we never would have fallen in love," said Bella. "We owe our marriage to my recklessness."

"Untrue."

"Of course it's true. If I hadn't gone into that coma… Why are you shaking your head?"

"I didn't fall in love with you in the hospital," said Edward. "I fell for you here, well, there, in what I suspect to be the same plane they flew us in eighteen years ago." Everyone looked over at the plane Alice had just departed. It seemed probable. "I knew I loved you the moment I laid eyes on you on our flight from Seattle. I spent the entire flight thinking of things to say to you, but I couldn't because I'm a coward.

"I got my second chance at the grocery store. Our little duet was entirely unplanned, but it remains one of my favorite memories of all time. I asked you out that day and you said yes. I don't know why, but you said yes."

Someone huffed in the background—Rosalie, most likely—but the rest of the family stayed silently transfixed on Edward. It was a story they had heard many times, and even had their parts in, but the passion in his voice was mesmerizing.

"That accident was responsible for both the best and worst days of my life. Worst because I thought I'd lost you. Before you woke, before you spoke, even before, when I thought you'd stood me up, there was only one thing on my mind: I thought I blew it. I thought I'd never get my chance. My chance to do this."

Edward got down on one knee and produced a small velvet box. "Isabella Cullen, eighteen years ago you flew into my life and changed it forever. I would have done this the day we met if I'd thought you'd say yes. As it is, it took saving your life and two years of near begging. And even then, we had to elope.

"This Sunday, on our sixteenth anniversary, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife…again?" Edward opened the box and presented Bella with a thin platinum bracelet of linked infinity symbols sprinkled generously with diamonds.

She took the box from him gingerly, angling it various ways in the sunlight. Finally, she sighed and handed it back to him. "You're not gonna let me elope again, are you?"

"NO!" Everyone behind her shouted it in unison.

Edward simply smiled. "I guess not."

Bella held out her wrist for Edward, who immediately set to slipping the bracelet in place. He finished with a kiss of the clasp, then worked his way up her arm until he was kissing her lips with an almost reckless disregard for his family's presence.

Not to be ignored, Emmett kidnapped Bella directly from Edward's arms and threw her over his shoulder, much the way he had done to Rosalie moments before.

Edward began protesting immediately, whereas Bella had chosen the "punch first, ask questions later" path. When Emmett kept walking undeterred by Bella's assault, Edward looked to the rest of his family for support. He found none.

"You can have her back on Sunday," said Rosalie. "It's the only way to make sure we get to be there this time."

"There was no bachelor party!" Emmett yelled.

"I never got to be a flower girl," Alice said with a pout.

"There was no _reception_!"

"I didn't get to see Bella in a dress. I didn't get to help plan."

"You were seven, Alice."

"So? I'm not seven now! And I'm sure Mom wishes she could have been there to help." The family collectively turned to Esme, who had become nothing more than a mass of snot and tears.

"I… I would have liked that very much." She pulled out a tissue and cleaned her face. "I always hoped you would do it all again the… the right way. I always wanted to see that. And I know your… your… Oh, God!"

Emmett quickly dropped Bella and ran to his mother, but Edward had him beat. Esme blubbered and mumbled incoherently into Edward's chest for several minutes, staining the fabric of his jacket. When she had calmed enough to realize this, she started futilely wiping him with a soaked ball of tissue.

"I'm sorry, Edward. I'm so sorry."

"Mom, it's all right. Don't. It's just a shirt. Please don't cry."

"I was only kidding, Esme, I promise," Bella said quietly. "We won't do that to you again."

Esme waved dismissively. "I know, dear. It's just…" She turned to Edward. "I know your father would have wanted to be here. He was so upset about the first one, and now…"

Edward let his mother cry on his shoulder for another small while. Eventually, Emmett came and all but carried her back to her car so he could drive her home. He made sure to elbow his brother as he passed. "Nice going, dipshit."

Rosalie ushered him away quickly, offering Bella and Edward some surprising words of encouragement. "It'll be okay. We need something good to focus on, and there's nothing better than a wedding. Maybe Emmett and I will have another one too."

Alice suspected Rosalie's enthusiasm had less to do with her brother-in-law's happiness than her desire to hold a lavish ceremony of her own every five years, a tradition they had abandoned recently.

"Do you really think this is a good time?" she asked Edward once Rosalie and Bella had walked away. Rosalie to follow her husband to the Cullen home, Bella because she always had a healthy respect for "brother-sister time".

"What do you mean? It's our anniversary. What could be better?"

"How about your twentieth anniversary, so maybe Dad will be there, and Mom won't be having a nervous breakdown? If you do it now, it's like your saying… It's like you think…"

"Alice…" Edward sighed and shook his head slowly from side to side. "We all want to believe Dad's coming home, but the reality is that it's been over three years. He's not…"

"Don't you say he's not coming home, Edward! Don't you dare! Dad will _always _come home! He promised. He promised…" She finished with a whisper and a sob as Edward pulled her close, careful to avoid the wet patch left by his mother.

"Shhh. This isn't like when you were little, Alice. He's not at work. There is no 'home after Mickey.' Dad always kept his promises; don't you think he'd be here if he could?" Alice nodded into his shirt. "We both know Dad would rather die than let you and Mom down. He'd _rather die_, Alice, than let the women in his life suffer needlessly."

"How can you do this, Edward? How can you just… continue on with your life like none of this ever happened? Like Dad never disappeared? Like he never existed?"

A tear rolled down Edward's cheek as he considered Alice's questions. "I haven't forgotten our father. I will _never_ forget, but in living the way we are—walking on eggshells, wasting our time with grief—I think it's disrespecting him. I have a wife and child, a home and a career. I have a life, and I think Dad would want me to live it. He wouldn't want our lives to end just because his did.

"In a way, this wedding is in his honor. I'm taking control and re-committing to my family, the way I know he'd want me to. And I know that wherever he is now, he'll be there with us. He'll be standing next to me, watching Bella walk down the aisle toward us."

Bella hugged her husband when he got to the car and whispered to him, "That was beautiful, baby."

"You heard that?"

"Yeah, and I think you're right. I wasn't sure at first, especially after seeing your mother's reaction, but now I know we're doing the right thing with this. Carlisle would want us to be happy, and a wedding would make everyone happy. Rosalie was right about that too."

"Did you just say the words, 'Rosalie was right'?" asked Alice.

"Don't tell her."

"Don't worry, I won't. The consequences would be dire."

Bella laughed, but Edward cast her a wary glance. "She's not kidding. Remind me to tell you what happened when I thanked her for trying to get us together. My biggest mistake to date."

Bella continued to laugh, and Alice considered telling Rosalie what she'd said just to teach her a lesson, but decided it just wasn't worth it. After all, this wedding was meant to be a joyous and healing milestone; involving Rosalie's pride would only be counter-productive. Besides, her sisters would need to be on pleasant terms if she was going to pull off the second best wedding of the century. The best, of course, she reserved for herself.

oOoOo

Bella warily eyed the package that had just been delivered; it looked suspiciously like something one would use to store a dress. But how could Alice have made arrangements so quickly? To have ordered a wedding dress for overnight delivery, on a Saturday no less, would have cost something close to a fortune—unless it had been cheap to start with. Bella doubted this somehow. When she lifted the lid, Bella knew she'd been mistaken on the boxes origin. This dress wasn't a recent purchase, it was _made_, just for her.

"When?"

"I didn't know if you'd ever give us a proper wedding, but I wanted to be prepared."

Bella stroked the deep blue satin tenderly. "It's beautiful, Alice. Thank you. I just hope it isn't out of date. We waited so long… and your bridesmaid dress will have to match." Bella frowned. "You'll never find something on such short notice."

Alice laughed and jumped up to kiss Bella's cheek. "I was so hoping you'd say that! Not the depressing parts, but my dress is already being delivered to my parents' house. I can assure you it matches perfectly. And as you can see"—Alice unfolded with a flourish—"I went with the timeless approach."

Alice had to hold the dress up over head in order to keep the fabric from the floor, so she missed the look on Bella's face when she saw it, but her verbal reaction was more than enough to make up for it.

"Oh. My. God. Alice. Oh, my god. Ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod! It's… it's… oh, my god."

Floor-length with a small train in a subtly sparkling deep blue with pale accents around the waist and sleeves, the dress was simple, elegant, and timeless. It was a gown fit for a princess—Aurora, to be exact.

"Where did you find it, Alice? A real one, I mean. The only ones I've ever seen are costumes or exact replicas with those ridiculous wings on the front."

"And most of them are pink," said Alice. "I pictured pink myself, but Edward wanted blue. It's funny the things you remember." She re-packed the dress carefully, lovingly, then closed her eyes. "I can still see you in that bed, with Edward looking on. You were a princess to me, Bella. Always. And Edward was your prince. You wore this"—she patted the box—"every day in my imagination.

"My first design, at the tender age of five." Alice grinned sheepishly at Bella. "The sketches weren't exactly refined at the time. They got better, more detailed over the years, but in my mind, it was always this. The only thing that changed was the color. I eventually realized Edward was right about that, if only because you'd like it better. Pink was great for Sleeping Beauty, but blue is just right for a Slumbering Swan."

oOoOo

Once the dress had been approved, the wedding came together beautifully, thanks in large part to Alice. The backyard of the Cullen house already had a garden path with a latticed archway, and plenty of space to share with the reception. She and Edward were able to find a local party store with the necessary equipment available, namely a small dance floor and two round tables: one for the adults and a smaller version for their children.

Emmett and Rosalie did most of the decorating—according to Alice's instructions—while Alice herself hemmed dresses and fielded questions from Edward, who was _supposed_ to be head of purchasing. She didn't know why her brother couldn't manage to find the exact colors, fabrics, or flowers she asked him to, but secretly found it hilarious that a certified genius could fail so miserably at her daily job.

Annoying, but hilarious.

Bella did virtually nothing, as instructed. She had the tendency to get in Alice's way, so she was relegated to keeping Esme company throughout the process. Esme had wanted to help too, but often found herself reminiscing about her own wedding day or a romantic moment she and her husband had shared in the garden. She would be bright and chipper one moment only to explode spontaneously into tears the next. After about three hours of this, Esme joined Bella on the bench. Together they hatched a plan to be useful.

Edward didn't like the idea of his bride cooking for her own wedding, but she told him it was what she wanted. Emmett jumped on the idea, always eager for home cooking, and Rosalie fueled his enthusiasm; Bella cooking meant leftovers meant less cooking for Rosalie. Not that she did much of that anyway. It would give Emmett one less thing to whine about at least. Alice approved, however reluctantly, which left Edward face to pitiful face with his mother.

"You want to deny your own mother a chance to participate in your wedding?" Esme asked, tearing up a little. "How could you do that to me, Edward? How could you do that again?"

"Oh, Mom. You know I didn't mean it like that. Of course I want you to participate."

Esme smiled instantly. "It's settled then! Bella and I will cook for everyone." She winked and patted Edward's cheek. "I hope you've already ordered the cake though, son. Those take days to sort out."

Bella and Esme set off immediately for groceries while Edward stood dumbstruck.

"Dude, you just got played…by Mom!"

Rosalie laughed along with her husband and added her own opinion on the cake matter. "I'll bet you didn't even think of that. I hope there's room in the freezer, looks like Bella's getting a DQ."

"Thanks, Em, Rose. Don't you have some flowers to arrange?"

"Edward's right. We only have one day, people! Anyway, it's already done, and perfectly lovely." Alice waited until Emmett and Rosalie had walked away to ask, "You _did_ order a cake didn't you? And not from Dairy Queen?"

"Yes, Alice, I ordered a cake. And a caterer, which I am now going to lose my deposit on. This isn't my first wedding, you know."

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize they had professional bakers on staff at last-minute chapels in Vegas. Called ahead, did you? Got the number four special with butter cream and chocolate?"

"I'm sorry, Alice. It's just… between Mom and Emmett and the whole… Dad… thing…"

"I know, knigh'. It's okay. Now go try on your tux. I think you've gained a little weight since I ordered it."

"Probably. It's been in your closet since 1992."

"I wasn't even alive in 1992. And you can thank me when you see it next to Bella's dress."

Edward bent down and kissed Alice on the forehead. "I thank you now, princess. Without you, we'd just be in our Friday night clothes, saying vows in Mom's backyard. We needed you."

"I know, I know, best sister ever. Scoot!"

The fitting was coming along nicely. And though Edward would have made a dashing Prince Phillip, Alice had stuck with a classic tuxedo in the appropriate color scheme for the wedding. It was slightly more old-fashioned than anything found in stores, but it suited him perfectly and, by extension, his wife. They really were a fairy tale couple.

Alice swallowed down the twinge of jealousy that had been accompanying the lightheaded swoon of late, and stuck a pin a little too roughly into Edwards cuff.

"Ow! What'd my ankle ever do to you?"

"Oh shut up, you big baby. I didn't even break the skin."

Edward responded maturely, sticking his tongue out at Alice when he thought she wasn't looking. She caught him, of course, and stuck him again, this time resulting in blood. Before he could retaliate, Edward's phone began to ring. He wouldn't have answered, but it was his work ring, and though he wasn't on call, he couldn't very well ignore the hospital.

He hopped over to the dresser on one foot, nursing his ankle gingerly. Edward answered and as time ticked, Alice grew impatient. They only had a few hours in which to finalize everything; she would need the entire morning to set out the flowers and get Bella ready the next day. At first, Alice worried they would try to rope him into a shift at the hospital, which was completely unacceptable on this of all weekends. But the longer Edward stayed on the phone, the paler and more stoic he became. Alice's fears changed.

What if there was a patient only Edward could help? What if something had happened to one of his coworkers? One of his friends? Then Alice remembered her mother and Bella; they had left for the store less than an hour ago. Could they be in the hospital now? Hurt? Dying? Dead? Why wasn't Edward saying anything? He'd only spoken four words in the entire five minute conversation: "Hello", "What?", and "Thank you". And now the call had apparently ended, but Edward still stood, frozen, with his phone at his ear.

"Edward? What is it? Is everyone okay? Is it Mom and Bella? … My God, Edward! Did somebody die?"

At the mention of death, something stirred in Edward. His hand fell limply to his side, his phone fell to the floor and came apart in all the usual places. Without seeming to see her, Edward turned to Alice and shook his head.

"He's alive."

* * *

**So... What do you think happened to Carlisle? How will Alice react? And, what will become of the wedding _now_?  
Tune in next time.  
**

**Thank you so much for reading!**

**I would also like to take this opportunity to thank ALL of my readers, past and present, for this and also for _Snowed._ I now have a home computer and internet and should be much faster (and therefore more gracious-seeming) with my replies and posting schedule. I do have an extra or two for _Snowed _and the original _Slumbering Swan_, which I am hoping to get motivation to actually write (as well as a completely new, completely depressing New Moon re-boot). **

**OH! ANNNDD... the slash-fic I promised after Fage 4 when my recipient didn't quite get what they were looking for. (Not that she said that, but I know I'm too fluffy for her. MUST. FIX. FAILURE.)  
**

**Reviews would probably help. ;P  
**


	2. No Really, They Did

**Thank you so much to all the readers, followers, and favorites out there. And a special thank you to my two reviewers. I sincerely appreciate you taking the time to let me know what you're thinking.**

**I still don't own anything of interest.  
**

* * *

Alice was flat on her back with Edward's tiny flashlight in her face. She smacked it away and jumped to her feet, only for someone to have to catch her from behind when she almost fell again.

"Easy, sis," said Emmett as he eased her back onto the bed.

"Just try sitting up for now," said Edward. "I'll get you some water." He left and Alice turned to her other brother.

"What happened?"

Emmett's face was ashen, but he smirked at Alice's question. "You fainted, princess. It was very Bella of you." Rosalie giggled from somewhere behind him.

With Emmett's help, Alice was able to sit on the edge of the mattress while she tried to get her head in order. She had fainted? Why would she have fainted? Edward was getting his tux fitted, and they'd been messing around. She'd poked him with the needle and drawn blood. Was that why she had fainted? If so, it _had _been very Bella of her. But that didn't seem right.

Edward returned and held a straw up to her lips. Impatiently, Alice snatched the glass from him and rolled her eyes. This made her dizzy. She kept her head still after that and drank her water slowly. When she was finished, Edward performed his usual tests, though Alice noted he wasn't quite as thorough with her as he usually was with his wife. Then again, this sort of thing happened to Bella often.

By the time Edward was done, Alice was feeling like her usual self, only with an added sense of dread and anxiety she couldn't quite place. Emmett seemed to be feeling similarly.

"What did they say?" he asked Edward the moment he stood. "When can we see him? Is he all right? Where has he been all this time?"

Emmett's question clicked Alice's memories into place. "Daddy! Oh my god, Edward, where's Dad? Is he at the hospital? We should go!" Alice stood but was immediately pushed back down.

"He's not at the hospital yet," said Edward. He turned to address Emmett. "He's been in Africa, helping the Somalians. The hospitals are supposed to be neutral, safe, but if that was the case, he wouldn't have been needed. He was captured and killed, or so they thought. He'll be in Seattle by morning."

"They thought he was dead? How'd they get him out if they thought he was dead?"

"Because they didn't give up!" said Alice. "He wasn't dead, he's alive. I knew he was alive! You all gave up on him, but I knew!"

Edward sat and put an arm around Alice to calm her. "Shh… It's all right. We were wrong, you were right. But hell, even his own team thought he was dead. They'd given hope until he was rescued."

"Rescued? What happened?" asked Rosalie.

Edward shook his head. "They didn't give any details, only that he was presumed dead until someone brought him back to the hospital, where he was eventually identified and cleared to come home."

Emmett stood and began pacing the small room. "Why didn't they notify us… of anything! Dad was kidnapped by pirates! No one told us. He was dead! No one told us. Would it be too god damned much to expect? We put our lives on hold, we've been waiting_ years _for news-"

"But he's alive!" Alice shouted. "If they'd told us all that, we'd have thought he was dead like they did. But he's not. Our father is coming home and all you can do is complain that no one told you otherwise? You're sick!"

"Ali-bug, I-"

"What did you say?" All heads turned toward the new voice in the doorway.

"Esme?"

"Mom?"

"What did you just say?" Esme asked again, gazing intently at Alice. "Did you just say that he…that your father is…alive?"

Edward quickly briefed his mother and Bella on the latest developments, placing particular emphasis on the fact that there was nothing they could do until Esme was officially notified. Carlisle's location was technically military intelligence. Edward's friend had risked her job to share what she knew; they needed to be patient.

Emmett did not like this plan.

"Wait? You want us to wait? God knows when or if they'll even call. His death wasn't important enough, why would they bother to _notify _us he's alive?"

"It would cost me my job-"

"Fuck your job!"

"Fuck you!"

"Boys! Language!"

"Sorry, Mom," Edward and Emmett mumbled in unison.

"Angela could be facing criminal charges for tipping me off, Em. I can't do that."

"Absolutely not," Esme agreed. "We will wait for them to notify me of their mistake then go to him immediately."

"Mistake?" Bella asked. Everyone's heads perked up. They'd missed that part.

"Pronouncing my husband dead, obviously. They could never make up for that kind of miscommunication, but I expect a full apology from the president of the organization."

Everyone gaped at Esme, struggling to comprehend the meaning behind her words. Emmett, as usual, was the first to vocalize his thoughts.

"You knew?"

"Of course I knew. The wife has to know. They reported his death on their website as well, but I asked them not to release his name."

"You kept Daddy's death from us?" Now that the lie was closer to home, Alice was beginning to see Emmett's point.

Esme clenched her eyes shut as though enduring great pain, but when she opened them there was only resolve. "It was a decision that I wrestled with and later came to regret. I wasn't ready to accept it and move on. Then, when it came time to live with the reality of your father's death, I couldn't do it. I couldn't re-open the wounds, re-live that heartbreak through your eyes. It was selfish, I know. Can you ever forgive me?"

Edward was the first to step forward, with Bella close behind. Emmett came next, adding his own words of comfort and forgiveness, words Alice didn't know she really deserved. It had been one thing to think that a global organization had overlooked the incident, that people she'd never met had been the ones who were neglectful and uncaring, but to find that it had been her mother all along? That Esme had purposely left her entire family in limbo for three long years? Alice didn't know how to react.

Thankfully, she was spared the obligation. Rosalie spoke first.

"You weren't ready to accept it? Really? You weren't _ready _to move on? What about my children, Esme, huh? What about letters to Grandpa Carlisle that never got answered?" Rosalie's voice rose in both volume and pitch as she continued an assault on her mother-in-law no one dared interrupt.

"What about your own children? Emmett, who checked his email _every_ day and _every_ day was crushed by disappointment. Edward put off his re-commitment to Bella in the hopes that Carlisle would be here to see it. Did you know that?"

"Is that true?" Esme mumbled to Edward.

"Yes, it is!" said Rosalie. "I helped him plan it years ago, just like my own anniversary weddings. Which, by the way, we skipped last year because my husband didn't think it was appropriate to celebrate at a time like this. And don't even get me started on Alice. You fucked _her_ up six ways from Sunday."

Alice wanted to object, but Rosalie was on a roll. "By not wanting to cope with this yourself, you took away any chance the rest of us had to move on. Instead of once, Carlisle died every single day, and we couldn't even grieve for him because we just didn't know. I know he isn't dead, and I'm glad he's coming back, but what you've done to this family, it's…it's unforgivable."

Esme said nothing and Rosalie stormed off.

"Maybe I should-" Alice started, but Emmett cut her off.

"I'll go talk to her. Rosie! Baby, it's gonna be fine!"

Alice was left alone with her mother, flanked by Edward and Bella, all looking beseechingly to her.

"Princess…" Esme started, but Alice couldn't listen.

"I… Just call me when we can go see Dad."

oOoOo

Quiet and dark, Alice was in her safe place. She wasn't sure when the symbol of her childhood fear became comforting. Perhaps it had always been that way. The closet was, after all, her escape from reality, from pain, as a child; it made sense that she would continue to feel safest when she was hidden. The hall closet, unfortunately, had become too confined a space as her body grew, so she eventually graduated to the walk-in pantry. It was there that Edward found her, leaning her head on a jar of pickles.

"Hey, princess," he said, closing the door behind him. "How you holding up?"

Alice waited for him to slide into his usual place: the Edward-sized niche between her body and the stack of empty cookie tins. A clatter startled them both.

"Either Mom moved those or I'm losing my touch," said Edward.

"I told you," said Alice as she settled into his side. "You're getting fat."

"I'm getting old," Edward countered. "Crawling around in dark closets isn't as easy as it was when I was your age."

"You squeezed into the hall closet with me," Alice said, somewhat wistfully. "You used to sit with me until I fell asleep, and you always made sure I woke up somewhere bright."

"It was easier then. You fit into my arms and weighed almost nothing. Plus, I was young and strong…and not so _fat_."

Alice giggled. "Okay, fine. You're not fat."

Edward chuckled along with her, then they fell into an expectant silence. Alice was the first to crack.

"How can you forgive her so easily?"

Edward sighed and Alice felt him scrub at his face. "It isn't a matter of forgiveness, Alice. It's about moving on with our lives. I meant what I said yesterday, and as easy as it would be to turn on Mom right now, it won't change what is."

"Mom lied to us, Ed. She lied! Everything Rosalie said was true. She destroyed us with her silence. Emmett, and the kids…. Well, he's a big push over, and I guess I can understand why Bella would forgive her so easily, but you-"

Edward stiffened. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I just mean that Bella has known us for the least amount of time. She didn't grown up in this family. I'm sure it isn't the same."

Edward was silent for a moment, presumably collecting his thoughts. Alice expected him to defend his wife, justify her detachment, but the actual tone of Edward's voice shocked Alice to the point of dread.

"You will _never_ say such things about Bella again, do you understand me? To insinuate that she doesn't care….You just count yourself lucky she wasn't here to hear you say that; it would break her heart. I don't want to have to choose sides here, but if you hurt my wife... As it is, I'm here because, as _furious _as she is with our mother, she knows you need me more."

"But she forgave her. She stood with her."

"Bella stands with _me_, Alice. And right now, I stand by Mom. She made mistakes, to be sure. She hurt us with her choices, but she wasn't the only one."

Guilt invaded Alice's thoughts. True, their mother had violated her trust and kept the entire family in the dark realm of uncertainty for years, but it had all been in the name of self-preservation—the very same reasoning Alice had used to avoid her home for the past three years. She hadn't thought about what her leaving might do to the family, a family with a missing father, a grieving mother, and then a sister who ran away because she just couldn't face reality anymore.

And here she was accusing _Bella_ of not caring about the family. What _she_ must have been thinking all this time…picking up the pieces of a broken son and brother, waiting three years to have her husband back. How could Alice try to take that from her? Who was she to belittle Bella's sacrifice and put a time limit on healing? She'd been wrong.

With a fresh rush of tears Alice blubbered, "I'm s- sorry, Edward. I'm such a- a hypocrite."

"Shh," Edward soothed, petting her hair. "It's okay, princess. You didn't do it on purpose. And in this house we don't punish for being bad by accident, remember?"

"I 'member, Ewar."

Edward kissed the top of Alice's head and chuckled into her hair. "You're not being fair, princess. I can't stay serious when you talk like that."

"Tha's the point, Ewar," said Alice in a perfect impression of herself as a five-year-old. "We needa laugh more. Duh!"

Edward laughed and hugged his sister tightly. "I've missed you, princess. So much less rescuing to do without you."

"Be careful what you wish for, brother. You'll have a teenage daughter soon."

Edward groaned. "Don't remind me. I'm trying to sell Bella on the whole _locked away in a tower _deal."

Alice laughed.

"It could work."

"Yeah, until her own knight in shining armor comes along. Then what?"

"Then he'll have to face the dragon." Edward let out a growl. "If he makes it past me, he can rescue away."

"It _did _work for Bella," Alice conceded. "But I don't remember the chief giving _you_ such a hard time."

"Ah, so I never told you about the gun then."

"Chief Swan pulled a gun on you?"

"Oh yes, threatened to pump me full of lead if I ever touched his daughter again. I fought bravely though, defeated his cynicism."

A loud giggle sounded through the door.

"Bella?"

Bella opened the door, pink from laughter.

"How long have you been listening?"

"Long enough to know Charlie and I need to have a little talk. Or were you telling Alice your own version of the time he caught you perving on me in the hospital?"

"I wasn't _perving_. I was admiring."

"Yes, admiring." Bella rolled her eyes and looked to Alice. "He was _admiring _an unconscious stranger in a hospital bed, feeling her up. Making out."

"The making out was necessary, beauty, integral to your recovery."

"Anyway..." Bella sighed. "Your mother just got a call from the the hospital. Thought you two might want to be there." She glanced nervously to Alice as she and Edward stood, Edward with a groan.

"Okay there, fat man?"

Edward mumbled something about 'evil fairies' before stretching and exiting the pantry. Alice stayed behind, glancing between Bella and her own feet at intervals.

"I'm glad you're doing better, Alice," Bella finally said. "If there's anything I can do..." She let the sentence trail and started to turn away.

"I'm sorry."

Bella turned, confused.

"I'm sorry, Bella," Alice said again. "And thank you."

"For?"

"For taking care of the family when I couldn't … didn't … whatever." Alice wiped a tear.

"Alice," Bella said, choking up herself.

Alice waved her off. "Doesn't matter. Everything's gonna be all right now." She looped her arm through Bella's. "Now let's go see when my daddy comes home."

Bella smiled, seemingly grateful that Alice was back to herself.

"Can you tell me one thing though, Bella?" Alice asked as she skipped them toward the den.

"Of course."

"What did Rosalie mean when she said I was fucked up?"

* * *

**What _did _she mean? Think Rosalie will calm down? How would you react if someone in your family kept this kind of secret from you. I'd be thinking Rosalie, but acting Alice. If that makes any sense. Bella is a much better person than I.**


	3. Somehow

**Sorry for the delay, anyone who cares, but this chapter turned out to be a monster. Not length-wise, obviously, but it took on a direction I really wanted to stray from. I tried, but in the end, Bella got her way. (Doesn't she always?) It was difficult for me to write, mainly because I didn't see it coming. I very much wanted to get to Carlisle this chapter, but he's just going to have to wait his turn. This family is full of screw-ups.**

**Oh! And: in the last chapter Emmett said something about pirates. Carlisle was not actually kidnapped by pirates, that's just the association Emmett made with Somalians. Bad Emmett! Just wanted to clear that up.  
**

**I still own nothing.**

* * *

The hospital was just as sterile and white as Alice remembered. The light smattering of generic flower paintings and largely untouched Reader's Digests did nothing but give the eye a a focal point when staring into space. Every once in a while a block of blue and black interrupted her view of a pastel paint-by-number. Emmett hadn't been able to sit still since the night before, when Angela had been able to officially inform their mother of Carlisle's return.

Esme had reacted appropriately, shock and tears both evident in her voice. As Alice watched her melt into Emmett's chest, she doubted her mother was acting. Hearing of her husband's imminent release was probably surreal, having thought him dead for over three years. Even with the warning, it likely wouldn't seem concrete until she actually saw him, touched him, heard his voice for herself. Lord knew that's how Alice felt, and as far she knew he'd only been missing. The Seattle hospital had estimated Carlisle's transport would arrive in the wee hours of the morning. He would be given an examination immediately upon his arrival, then the family would be notified. They had no idea what condition he'd be in when he got there.

The family kept vigil over the phone that night, sleep a forgotten tradition. Each member had taken on the waiting pose that suited them best, the same positions they took on now. Emmett paced, restless with his own futility. Esme sat rigidly in the seat across from Alice, head held high and upper lip stiff, the slight tremor of her hand the only indication she held together by a thread. Rosalie sulked in a corner, texting back and forth with the babysitter while Edward did the thing he does best in times of crisis: fawning over his wife. He and Bella had taken up residence in the far corner of the waiting room so as not to disturb with their murmurs. Alice couldn't make out their words, but the light kisses, soft caresses, and unwavering eye contact were starting to make her sick. But she knew her brother. She knew this would pull him through whatever they were waiting for.

The world could be crumbling down around them—a fire in the hospital, the roof collapsed, zombie apocalypse, but Bella was here. Bella was safe, and she still loved him almost as much as he loved her—enough to change lives, risk careers, and forget the reason they were here. As long as these things were true, Edward could find his way. As long as he had Bella, life could soldier on.

Simple.

Easy.

Enviable.

"What the _hell _is taking so long?" Emmett burst out at noon. Alice didn't blame him; they'd been sitting for almost two hours.

"They never gave us a time," Esme reminded him softly. "They only said he'd be ready today, and we declined their offer to tell us when to come up."

"Yeah, but this is ridiculous! They know we're out here! Couldn't they at least send someone to tell us what we're waiting for? Does he need surgery? Is he unconscious? What the _fuck_ are they doing back there?"

"If there was anything to tell us..."

"Oh, shut up, Ed! You work in this god damn hospital! You mean to tell me you can't just slip back and find ou-"

"You know I can't, Emmett!" Edward yelled, then the color drained from his face and he slumped over so that he leaned into his wife's neck. "Besides, I already tried. There were a couple of suits... _Confidential_. _Classified_. That's all I got out of them, and they wouldn't let me see him, wouldn't even tell me what condition he was in."

"So barge in there! Storm the castle! Fuck, I'll do it."

Edward put a hand out to stop his brother. " They had badges, Em. And guns. I get the feeling they won't mess around if you try to pull a Scarface."

"This is ridiculous! What the hell-"

A throat cleared, halting Emmett mid-curse.

"Are you the Cullens?" a very large nurse asked in a very small voice. Emmett turned on her like a wild animal, causing the woman to stumble back into Edward and Bella's corner, only just catching herself. "I'm so sorry," she said, steadying herself against the wall before turning to Edward, who still had his arms up in the spotting position. "I didn't- Oh, hello, Dr. Cullen."

"Hello, Ms. Stanley." Edward grinned and the nurse flushed, glancing down to his lap as though in lament. "Nurse Stanley?" Edward prompted.

"Oh...yes...so sorry, Dr. Cullen. I just...didn't see you there. You must be Mrs. Cullen." Nurse Stanley appraised Bella with the critical eye of jealousy before smiling and offering her hand. "Edwar- I mean, Dr. Cullen." she giggled, "has told me so much about you."

Bella turned an incredulous eye to her husband as she returned the gesture. Edward rolled his eyes and planted a kiss on Bella's cheek. "I believe you had something to tell us?" he said, gesturing to the others in the room, particularly his mother, who had recently shredded a ball of tissue to snow.

Nurse Stanley seemed to remember herself then. Shaking her head, she stepped back and smoothed her uniform over her curves before addressing the group as a whole. "Dr. Cullen will be receiving visitors shortly. We'd like to keep excitement to a minimum for now, so if one or two of you would like to come with me..."

Emmett took off for the door behind her back. Where he thought he was going, no one knew. Nurse Stanley hadn't given them a room number.

"All right," she hedged. "Mrs. Cullen?" Esme nodded and stood, reaching for Edward.

"One or two-" the nurse started, but clammed up when Edward leaned in close.

"My mother may need some assistance." Nurse Stanley eyed the doors Emmett had just burst through. "My brother will probably be lost back there for an hour," he said. "And I would sincerely appreciate your assistance in this matter, as I'm sure would my father."

Nurse Stanley appeared to mull this over, but everyone knew Edward would get his way. Even if he hadn't been able to charm the pants off her with a glance, their father would have been plenty of leverage. The infamous Carlisle Cullen. He'd been Chief of Medicine in the small-town of Forks, Washington, and though he'd never actively sought power, it invariably found him. Wisdom, compassion, and humility had garnered him much respect and many an important position. Only a fool would turn his son away.

Nurse Stanley proved not to be a fool.

As Alice watched them go, Bella moved to occupy Esme's vacant seat.

"You and Emmett are next," she said. "If he manages to find his way back, that is."

Alice couldn't help her half smile as she curled her knees up to her chest. Bella really was a wonderful person, and a truly integral member of the family. What had their home been like these past years, she wondered. How had she and Edward made it through? She was ashamed to realize she had no idea. Not even a theory.

"How's the store?" Alice asked. Bella seemed confused and Alice felt stupid. Was the store still open? She didn't know.

"It's fine," Bella answered after a time. "It got pretty rocky there for a while, especially with the way things are. People haven't had the money to spend, but they adjusted. Habits change over time. Priorities shift. People started buying books again, seeing movies. I think maybe it's just their escape. Times are tough, but Forks is tougher. They look after their own. I'm trying to get Edward to transfer so we can spend more time together."

"You want him to leave Seattle? I thought he was working toward head of his department?"

"He is, but the commute is killing us."

Alice blinked. Had she said "us"? Suddenly, Edward's re-commitment took on a whole new meaning. And the haunted look in Bella's eyes told her wasn't just about moving on.

"You know, that first year," she continued. "After Carlisle disappeared, after you left us, he wasn't even human."

Alice flinched at the mention of her desertion, but Bella didn't notice. She was being honest and, for once, completely blunt with her feelings. This is the way things were. This is what Alice needed, even if she no longer thought she wanted it.

"He used up all his vacation and sick days sitting around, waiting. He wasted _months _of his life. Of our lives. Our children... Our children watched him waste away. The hospital called, but he wasn't hearing it. I begged him to go back to work, to be the kind of doctor his father would be proud of."

Doctors, in Carlisle's opinion, were meant to heal and save, be it with policy or a bandage. Until his body stopped working, he would operate. Until his faculties left him, he would advocate. It was this philosophy that prompted his mission and subsequent capture. At sixty-five, when his hands first started to cramp, he volunteered to go overseas and spend his "last useful year" in the trenches. Literally. Six months in, they lost all communication. Alice wondered how soon after the last letter Esme had been notified. Bella seemed to be thinking along those same lines.

"She could have told us, Alice. She _should _have put a stop to it. We could have mourned him. We could have lived again. Wouldn't this still be a miracle if we'd done that? Wouldn't it still have been the right thing, even if he wasn't dead?" Alice had no answers, but Bella wasn't through. "Why did I have to watch my husband die in my living room? What good did it do? The hospital eventually threatened him. He could either go back to work or collect his severance.

"I didn't know what he'd do, but I didn't expect him to dive in the way he did. He worked long shifts, long weeks. At first he'd said he was catching up, paying for his absence. But it never eased up. He eventually stopped coming home for weeks at a stretch. I'd call him in the middle of the night and he'd be busy, sleeping, or sometimes just wouldn't answer. I thought he was cheating on me, Alice, I really did. He missed EJ's play and Ness' continuation. I thought he was done with us, so I... I left."

Alice gasped. "He never told me. I mean, we didn't talk much, but that's... That's big. That's so big, Bella. I had no idea. I'm so sorry. But that did it, right? You left him and he came after you? That brought him out of the funk?" Alice's optimism lasted approximately thirteen seconds. Long enough for Rosalie to chime in.

"Stupidity and misdirection are Cullen family traits," she said without looking up from her phone. "They don't know how to grieve. Emmett got arrested for bar fights, Esme lied to everyone, and Edward-"

"He didn't cheat on you!" Alice yelled at Bella, as though her saying so made any difference. "He never gave up! Edward loves you so much it's almost sick. Why would he abandon his family?"

"I don't know, Alice. I don't think he even knows. And no, he never cheated on me." Alice let out a sigh of relief. "But he did abandon us."

Alice gaped, disbelieving. Edward wouldn't. He couldn't. But Bella looked as though she was barely holding herself together as she spoke.

"He took me leaving as an opportunity. He moved out of the house, said the the kids and I could have it. He got an apartment in Seattle, visited on the weekends. Later on he told me he was saving money to go to Africa... if his paperwork fell through. He'd already volunteered, without telling me, for the same program your father was on."

Alice swallowed hard, barely able to talk. She eventually managed to ask, "How long?"

"Three months. Not so long, but at the same time...it felt like thirty years. I didn't know how to be without him. I fell asleep every night crying into his pillow. I'd call just to hear his voice on the machine. But he never answered, or called back. He'd come over for the kids at pre-appointed times, but he never looked my way. It was like I didn't exist to him until I got the papers. He filed for divorce."

"No!" Alice shouted, heedless to the others in the waiting room.

"Shh, Alice. Calm down."

"Calm down? You just told me you and my brother are divorced! Is that what this is really about? Getting married again?"

"No, Alice. We never got divorced. We never got that far."

"So what happened? God, Bella, you're killing me here! How did Edward fix this?"

"And why does he still have testicles?" Rosalie added from her corner.

"When I got the papers, Alice, it killed me. It killed me, but I signed them. I loved him with everything I had, but I finally had to give up and give him the clean break he was looking for. If it weren't for my children..." Bella shuddered. "I sent them to summer camp, thank God for summer camp, and hid myself away. I couldn't face life, but I knew I had to keep living. For them. Rosalie came around, tried to knock some sense into me."

"Sometimes literally."

"But I was empty. Just hollow. Anything she did or said... it couldn't affect me. It was like I was made of stone. I never thought I'd feel anything ever again. Until..."

"Until?"

"Jacob," Bella said with a grin.

Alice deflated. "Jacob?"

Bella nodded. "And Sam."

"Who's Sam?"

"And Emmett." Bella's grin turned manic.

"What the- Did Rosalie know about this?"

"For God's sake, Alice, shut up. You're making an ass out of yourself." Alice shot Rosalie the finger and turned back toward Bella, who shook her head.

"Jacob has never been more than a friend to me, Alice. And Emmett, the world's best brother. Edward has the scars to prove it."

"They beat him?"

"To a pulp."

"And yet he still reproduces," Rosalie said with a sigh. "What? I wanted to castrate the fucker. There's no shame in it."

"Edward never told me about any of this," Alice said to her shoes, then looked Bella in the eye. "So they threatened him if he didn't get back with you? And you just forgave him? I know he's my brother but that's so...so wrong."

Bella's eyes glazed over, seeing nothing but the past. "That's what I thought too. At first. He came to the house looking like hell, bloody and all busted up. He said he wanted to talk, and I handed him the divorce papers. He came back, and I slammed the door in his face. He spent a night on the porch, and I called the police. My dad was more than happy to escort him off the property and take his place on the deck. And when he got tired, or had to go, another officer took his place. Edward couldn't get within one hundred feet of my front door." Bella smiled wistfully. "So he came in the window.

"To this day, I'm not sure how, but he climbed into our bedroom and left a note on his pillow. It was nine pages long, full of reasons and excuses, and lots and lots of apologies. He said he'd never stopped loving me, and was only trying to leave me for my own good."

"You believed him?"

"Not for a second. But every morning, I woke up to something new. A flower, a picture, a note, even jewelry somewhere in there." Bella scoffed. "I couldn't figure out what his game was. Why would he try so hard to win me back? I'd already promised him a clean divorce. I wasn't withholding the kids from him. I told Jacob to keep away.

"He thought he was leaving me gifts, but to me they were physical proof of false love and broken promises. They tortured me. The fresh scent of him on the pillow each morning, it was my own private Hell. One night _I_ left _him_ a note. I begged him not to come back. I just wanted to move on, and I couldn't do that with daily reminders of what could have been."

"So what happened?"

Bella's head snapped up, as though just realizing Alice was there. She shrugged. "The notes stopped coming. The flowers dried up, and I threw them all away. I eventually took my dad off night watch. I lied and said me and Edward had talked it out. I never told him about the window."

Alice waited...and waited...and waited for Bella to continue, but her sister-in-law seemed to think she was finished with her story. "For God's sake, Bella! What happened? You told me you didn't get divorced, you're here today as his wife about to happily get re-married or committed or whatever, but you're just gonna stop there with you throwing Edward out and him agreeing. What the _hell_ is wrong with you? When did you decide to take Edward back?"

"The day I realized he'd really stopped coming."

"That's... Well that's psychosis is what that is."

Rosalie snorted. "Tell me about it."

"It had been a week since the last letter," Bella continued. "Charlie had been gone for two days, and from the minute I woke up, I couldn't put my finger on it, but I knew something was wrong. I was anxious all day, and when I went to bed that night, I kept waiting to be hit with memories of Edward. He blindsided me, ya know, when I tried to fall asleep. I kept waiting for the pain, but it never happened. I just laid there, all worried. The anticipation was killing me. So I thought, I should just get this over with. I should force a bad reaction. So I rolled over onto his pillow and took a deep breath."

"And?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing..."

"She said _nothing_!"

"Thanks, Rose."

"You're welcome."

"His pillow smelled like nothing, and that's when I knew what was bothering me. His pillow had always smelled like something. His hair, his cologne, just _him_. Sometimes it seemed stronger than others, but I always attributed that to stress and possible mental illness. I'd dream his voice and wake up smelling him all over me, only to find out it was just the stupid pillow all along. I hated it, but I couldn't get rid of the thing. It _always _smelled like him. The months he was away, it was like he was still with me. If I just closed my eyes and breathed, it was like he never left."

"So the pillow smelled like nothing?"

"Yes."

"And that made you take him back?"

"Exactly."

"I don't get it."

"Alice, don't you see? It took a week for his smell to wear off after the last time he was there."

Alice blinked at her.

"I had that pillow for months, and it always smelled like him. Months! It isn't possible! Unless..."

"Unless he used it at least once a week," Rosalie finished for her. Bella glared. "What? She wasn't getting it."

"So Edward was in your bed while you were separated?"

"Yes!" Bella and Rosalie said together.

"So he never really left you."

"No."

"And that's why you took him back."

"That's why I took him back."

* * *

**So this is the story all about how her life got flipped, turned upside-down...**

**Admit it, you sang that, didn't you?  
**

**I know it was short, and not so sweet, but I'd really love to know what you think.  
**

**Carlisle next! (I hope.)  
**

**Did I mention this story was originally meant to be one shot focused on Alice?  
**


	4. With Difficulty

**It's short, but it's something. Long and semi-important Author's Note at the bottom. (Especially if you're a fan of The Spill Canvas.)**

**If you're reading this, I love you. Yes, you.**

**Not mine. Never was.**

* * *

Edward and Esme approached the open door slowly. Nurse Stanley had given them a room number and walked off without so much as a word of what to expect. Possibilities ran rampant through Edward's mind, his medical training giving him an encyclopedic knowledge of any and every ailment his father may have suffered and seen: measles, cholera, injury, infection, post-traumatic stress, and the list went on. Nothing to be laughed at.

Upon entering, Esme ran to her husband's side, unable to hold back. Edward, on the other hand, went straight into doctor mode, evaluating Carlisle's appearance from afar. He was malnourished, to be sure. Had possibly been ill, but appeared to be on the mend. His right arm was bandaged, the puckered, hairless flesh surrounding suggested a recent burn, but he didn't seem to be hurting as he crushed Esme close. Not even a flinch. Then again, it may have just been love.

Or morphine.

"Son?" Edward was broken from his thoughts by a croaking reminiscent of Carlisle's voice. He put away the physician then and became the broken son. He was looking at his father. After three long years, he was finally here, and just when he'd given up. Just as he'd begun to move on, the man had come back to life. Edward's new outlook had painted this a happy occasion, another adventure in love. But now that he was here, looking into two pleading faces, he didn't know what to feel.

"Edward, please," his mother choked out. And he knew he could get through this. Because his mother needed him.

He approached the bed and Carlisle awkwardly held out his right hand, as though he meant Edward to shake it. A handshake? After three years, his father wanted a handshake? Edward stopped and stared at the offending appendage. Was he serious?

After a moment, Carlisle dropped his arm and let out a sigh, nodding to Edward as though he understood his reticence. But how could he? Edward looked at the way his parents clung so desperately to each other, as though afraid the other might disappear. Understandable reaction. Anyone would feel the same after such a long separation. Hell, he and Bella had only been apart for three _months _and he was loathe to leave her in the other room. But there was something in his eyes, something he'd noted upon entering, but was only now able to process: guilt.

Just as their bodies, Carlisle and Esme shared mirrored expressions. Each of them had something they were afraid to lose. Each of them felt it was their own fault if they did. But they were begging, him, each other, to understand. To forgive. Edward had already forgiven his mother. She knew that. She only needed to forgive herself. But what had Carlisle done?

"Pop! There you are!" Emmett had finally found them. And, curiously enough, he'd brought chocolate pudding. "Do you know how many hallways there are in this place? This is nothing like Forks General. And Nurse Ratched back there wouldn't tell me where to find you. I think she's still pissed about Bella."

Edward smiled as his brother pulled up a chair, giving their father a perfunctory shoulder slap, as though he'd just stepped out and come back.

"That was years ago, Emmett," said Edward, rolling his eyes, but oh so thankful for his brother. Leave it to Emmett to dispel tension he didn't even know existed. "She's been married and divorced since then."

"Bitch moved from Chicago for you, dude."

"She moved from Chicago with Leah, her best friend-"

"Leah married your best friend, bro. Of course she moved to Chicago. Why the hell did Jessica have to come with her?"

"Are you guys seriously talking about this right now?" All eyes turned to the doorway, but Edward already knew who it was. From the slack in his spine to the burst of oxygen that made its way into his lungs. He knew then that, no matter what, everything would be okay.

Bella was here.

oOoOo

Bella related her road to recovery with Edward in as much detail as was comfortable to tell his sister. It had taken a lot of time, twice as much as they'd spent apart, for Edward to earn Bella's trust again. But in the end, it was the knowledge that—although he'd claimed otherwise and done everything in his power to hide it—Edward had never _actually _abandoned them that convinced Bella to keep trying. She loved him with everything she had, it just took her a while to fully appreciate that her love was reciprocated.

As difficult as it was to comprehend a world without Edward and Bella, Alice understood her hesitation. It was something of a miracle Bella was even still able to feel after the level of heartbreak she must have suffered.

"What if you hadn't caught him?" said Alice, morbidly curious. "What if Jacob hadn't intervened, or you never noticed his smell was gone? What if he actually went to Africa?" What if her brother had thrown away everything he'd lived for to seek out their presumed dead father? Heat broiled in Alice's gut. With every breath, Bella and Rosalie's points were validated. Edward's wedding, the need to move on... Their mother's secret could have destroyed them all.

If they'd all been so self-absorbed. If they'd all reacted like Alice.

Oblivious to Alice's new train of thought, Bella responded to her musings. "He swears he wouldn't have gone, was already planning to withdraw his application when the guys came over. The letter was already written, he was stalling. Ashamed. They just helped convince him that the only thing worse than what he'd done was never fixing it."

"What if I'd never come home? What if Dad never came back and I never moved on?" Alice sighed. "I really _am_ fucked up."

Rosalie snorted in her corner. Bella giggled.

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to laugh," said Bella, noting Alice's frustration. "It's just, I don't think that's what Rosalie meant when she said that. I think you would have eventually come around. There's no room for _what if _anyway. It didn't happen, and it won't. We just need to..." Bella took a deep breath. "...move on."

Alice nodded at what was obviously some version of what Edward had said to calm her earlier, but still she wondered, "What _did_ you mean then, Rosalie?"

"Alice," she stated patiently, "you have a fairly obvious daddy complex."

Bella's cheeks went red as Alice glanced between the two of them. "What?"

"Oh please, name one boyfriend you've had since high school that doesn't remind you of Carlisle."

Alice pondered that for a moment. Mike Newton had been a client of hers. Her father knew nothing about fashion. And Riley was hardly a well-respected physician. He'd been a gym rat, completely unintelligent. Then James, of course, the dark phase in her life. He'd made all the decisions, handed out the orders, controlled every aspect of her life when she felt she couldn't do it herself. He'd fooled her into believing he did it out of respect and love, that he was into some sort of lifestyle she could appreciate. It had been a lie, of course. He was just a control freak that got off on pain and servitude, and she'd been too naïve to realize until it was almost too late.

"I must be having a stupid day," she said. "Cause I don't get this either."

"Let's see," said Rosalie. "James was blonde, blue eyes, about thirty-five when you were only twenty. Riley was blonde, blue eyes, thirty-three, if I remember."

"That's not-"

"And Newton! Mike is what, thirty-six? Thirty-seven?"

"Thirty-eight," Bella murmured. Alice glared at her.

"The point is, he's old. Blonde hair, blue eyes, just like a certain doctor I know. In fact, any guy you've even had a crush on was old enough to be your father. Looked like him, too."

"It makes sense," said Bella. "Carlisle has been the one looking out for you since before you can remember. Not to mention he's practically perfect. Lots of girls get little crushes on their dads and hope to find a man just like him. It's nothing to be ashamed of."

Before Alice could respond, a new nurse came into the waiting room and everyone held their breath. She motioned for the remainder of the Cullen family to follow her. The rest of the room let out airs of both frustration and relief as the women got up to follow. The _click-clack _of their shoes in an otherwise silent hallway tortured Alice's overactive brain. The anxiety of the day had focused onto a new worry. Were Bella and Rosalie right? Had her own father been her first love?

"Actually..." Alice cleared her throat. "Edward was my first crush. I used to follow him around like a puppy, asking questions about everything he was doing and trying to pretend I understood. He taught me how to play _Twinkle Twinkle _on the piano, and it still makes me remember being seven."

"I remember that!" exclaimed Bella, earning a glare from their guide. "I was actually jealous for a while. You took my man away! I almost think that's why I finally agreed to marry him."

"My knight in shining armor, marrying another princess." Alice lowered her eyes. "Broke my poor little heart."

"That doesn't make any sense," said Rosalie. "You were the one who got them together in the first place."

"I was _seven_, Rosalie, and totally in love. Hardly ready to be rational."

"Love'll make you do fucked up things," Bella quoted.

"You said it, mister," Alice responded in a choked up voice.

"You two did _not _just turn this into a _There's Something About Mary _moment."

"Just because it's a theme song don't make it not true," said Alice in a ridiculous attempt at bass. Rosalie rolled her eyes.

As they turned the corner, Emmett's laughter could be heard and their ridiculous conversation was forgotten. The three sped past the nurse and followed the boisterous voice to their final destination.

"Daddy!" Alice screeched and launched herself at her father, pulling at various tubes in the process. He hugged her back with one arm, as his other had been captured by his wife, who had no intention of letting go. Alice looked to her mother over Carlisle's shoulder, trying to find a look that meant both forgiveness and apology with a little bit of "I need time" thrown in. There was a lot of healing to do in this room, and it wasn't all for the guy on the gurney.

When she pulled back, Alice thought that Carlisle _looked_ healthy enough, if not notably thinner than he'd been years prior. But there was something about his eyes. Something had been lost.

"How are you, Daddy?" she asked, softly.

"Much better, princess. Just glad to have my family back." He looked saddened by this. She wanted to ask why, but figured now was not the time. Now was the time to be happy and enjoy each other, now that everything was as it should be.

Edward and Bella clung to each other, as usual, as they bantered back and forth with Emmett, who had apparently said something stupid. Again. Rosalie smiled indulgently at her husband and wiped at his chocolate pudding mustache. She looked up at Alice and winked before looking to Carlisle.

"We're glad to have you back," she said. "Although I don't blame you for wanting to escape this for a while."

The joke fell flat, and the room went silent.

"Too soon?" she asked, nervously twisting her hair.

Bella chuckled, more at the absurdity than anything, and Edward followed suit. Emmett pulled a red-faced Rose into his lap, murmuring that her bluntness was one of the many things he loved about her. Alice couldn't help but smile at her siblings, impropriety be damned, but her face fell when she looked at their parents.

Esme looked stricken, as though entertaining the idea that he _had _wanted to escape, while Carlisle looked as though he was about to cry.

"What's wrong, Daddy? She was only joking. We missed you is all, and we're all so happy you're back."

"I'm sorry, Mr. Cullen," said Rosalie. "It was a stupid thing to say."

Carlisle shook his head to refute, but kept going, tossing more and more violently as though hoping to shake something free of his head.

"Daddy? Dad? Edward, what's wrong with him? Do something!"

Edward marched forward and Alice stood to get out of his way. She thought he would adjust his medication, or perform some kind of procedure, slap him at the very least, but Edward simply reached for the call button.

"I'm not his doctor, princess," he said, correctly interpreting her astonishment. "Conflict of interest."

Before he could call for assistance, however, Carlisle abruptly stopped moving. He was so still for a moment, Alice was afraid he'd hurt himself, but soon his arm shot out to grab Edward's wrist.

"Don't, son. Please." The look on his face made Alice so nervous. If their father had gone crazy, she didn't know what she'd do.

Other than love and take care of him for the rest of his life.

"You need some rest," Edward said calmly. "You've obviously been through a lot, and we've overstimulated you."

"No, just. I don't want to be out. Not yet. There are things … things to say. I've … I've missed you all so much, and it's been … it's just been so long … I … I …."

"Shh … It's all right, baby." Esme smoothed down his hair, willing him to relax. "We're not going anywhere. You get some rest, and we'll talk later. Maybe one at a time, hmm? We'll all be here. I don't think any of us will get a good night's sleep until you're home safe."

Everyone shook their heads in agreement. They were in for the long haul.

"No," Carlisle argued, looking almost frightened. "You can't leave me. None of you can leave me until I tell you where I've been. You have to know. You have to know what I've done. I just wanted to try and enjoy a few last moments with you. Before you knew. Before you left me."

"Carlisle, what are you talking about?"

"We know what happened, Daddy. We know where you've been. It must have been horrible, but it wasn't your fault. You couldn't have known you'd get captured-"

"I wasn't captured, Alice." Carlisle closed his eyes. "I was never a prisoner of war. I- I chose to stay."

* * *

**So, first of all, sorry this took so long. RL, work, yadda yadda, plus the last chapter took me by surprise, and I really wasn't sure where to go from there. So I took a break and wrote my first slash, a lemony ExJ OS I was supposed to have written a year ago. And then about a month ago, I got a new goal, that momentarily superseded even finishing a WIP.**

**You may or may not know (probably not) that I wrote a novel in real life. I shopped it around a bit, got very little interest (and even the encouraging remarks ended with "But it's not for me. Good luck!") so I gave up fairly quickly. Mostly because I wasn't confident it was ready after a few constructive remarks. Really, the major issue is the beginning. I can't write a hook to save my life. A few people have read it. If you can find them, you can ask them what they think. Anyway, I let it die after that, thinking I'd figure it all out on that proverbial "someday." That was over a year ago.**

**A month or so ago, I was surfing the interwebs when post from a one Nick Thomas (lead singer of The Spill Canvas, my favorite band in the universe) caught my eye. The band is taking a break, and he's recording a solo album, funded solely through Kickstarter. I made my way in, intending to earn myself an album and a t-shirt, but the $250 tier caught my eye. "I will write you a personalized song." (60 seconds) **

**Now, I know he meant a little egocentric ditty, sixty seconds of "Katherine loves unicorns" set to strumming and the like, and I really don't need that. Nor do I have the money for it. But the more I thought about it, the more I thought abut asking to bend the rules. My love interest is a musician, you see, and I've written a couple of songs for him. One of which was largely (completely) inspired by The Spill Canvas. It's the song that helps my main finally realize that he loves her, and I always thought it'd be so cool (and so unrealistic) to have someone actually record the song and give it out with the book (or at least have it as an extra on a website). And here I have a chance to ask the very man who inspired me, the one whose voice I was hearing anyway, to be the one that records it. Sure it would be over sixty seconds, and yeah I'd have to have permission to distribute it. Not to mention personally email someone I consider to be unattainably famous and ask for a favor/barter that I feared he would find demeaning and/or demanding.**

**I was so _fucking_ nervous (excuse my French), but I did ask.**

**And he said, "Yes." (after a little clarifying back and forth... We had a back and forth!)**

**After I stopped screaming and telling everyone I knew (A co-worker asked me if I'd just gotten engaged. No lie.), I pledged to polish my novel, publish by any means necessary, and make sure that I haven't spent $250 in vain. The man is willing to make my dream come true, and now I have to do my part. Even if only 12 people I know ever read this book and hear my song (sung by _Nick Fucking Thomas!_), this HAS to happen.**

**And that's what I've been doing. Editing and re-writing my brains out on an original novel I hope to either get representation for or publish by the end of the year, even if I have to do it myself.**

**So, that's my plug. Not for me. But for him. If you'd like to help Nick Thomas, The Spill Canvas, or awesome guys who are willing to help their fans in return, please visit the Nick Thomas Kickstarter, linked on my profile. It ends May 8th. And hey, mention Alexis from Denver sent you and maybe I'll get a little extra oomph in my song. (Probably not, though lol)**

**And if you don't want to donate, I totally respect that. Check out his music. Become a fan yourself. Look for his album - and my book! - in the future!**


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